Victory

Tonight was my work party. I called and spoke with Claudia today for encouragement and for prayer to help me with my choices tonight. I am so thankful for Claudia. She is always there ready to listen and help me no matter what she is feeling. My prayer is that I help her as she does me.

This morning, I did not read the Word, but made a quick promise to God that I would not eat or indulge in any dessert. I knew that I could make that promise. As for the rest, I was not specific. As the day went on, I realized that I must make a mental plan in my head of what I would eat tonight and how much. I knew that I must have an offensive plan of attack. Like I was going into battle, which is exactly what I was doing. The battle against my flesh. I wanted to choose Jesus. I wanted to love Him more than food. It is a choice that I wanted to make. I said another quick prayer and asked Him to show me what to eat. I am learning to be dependent on Him for all these decisions, even to the detail of how much I can eat.

I helped prepare for the party and had many opportunities to eat a little here, a little there. I decided to not eat anything until everyone got there. I ate a small amount of appetizers, and the main course was italian. I had a medium size piece of lasagna and cheese ravoli with one breadstick. NO DESSERT. Of course, my old habit was to take some home with me. I thought I will put it in the freezer for a treat later. Now, guess who is going to get these yummy treats tomorrow.. You guessed right. Claudia. She can throw it away or whatever she wants to do with it. Now, I could just throw it away, but for some reason it means something to me to physically hand it to Claudia. She is so fortunate to have a friend like me, isn't she?

So, we will see what the scale says tomorrow. No matter what it says..I know God is working in me and I am the most blessed person right now. No words can describe the feeling that I have knowing the Creator of the world is working in me. Me..

Praise you Jesus!

Natasha

Life's choices

Today I realized how much I was mistaken about my weight issues. I always thought that "all I had to do" to lose weight was eat less and expend more energy daily. Simple right? The bottom line is, in fact, less calories/more energy. But I know now how much my food issues are tied into some many other aspects of my life.

For example, I do not make the time each week to make a shopping list, shop, chop and plan meals. Instead I eat fast food, freezer meals or make dinner plans with others. (which leads me to not be a good steward with my finances)

I do not plan my exercise for the week. And if I do, I usually allow myself to be inticied by other social activities. (which again does not make me a good steward of money and time)

I do not like to be alone at home. I used to, but I think I feel more worthy if I am busy. So I fill up my days with friends/family/bible studies..anything to avoid being alone. These things are not bad in themselves, but sometimes I feel so overextended that I miss out on my ''rest'' with Him. (bad steward of time management)

Which the above things leads me to be tired. I am exhausted and anxious, then I turn around and eat. I stay up too late..do not sleep properly which is not good for me physically or mentally.

Then, because I am tired and conflicted, I usually become passive/aggressive. I do not confront situations that upset/hurt me and just stuff it down. Usually with food.

So, again, I realize that I must change other things in my life to stop this cycle of overeating. It is not just a matter of saying I will eat less. Maybe it is, but I am just making this all too complicated? I do not know. I am waiting patiently for wisdom to come.

Onto a positive note:
I love that God speaks to me through His Word. I love that He gave us His Words for us to read at any moment. I love that He is faithful when we are not. I love that I am forgiven. Thank you Jesus!